That Darn Elf!

So the "Elf on the Shelf" is bad for my marriage. I didn't realize I was going to blog about this until I was telling my mom about this and we both were so tickled that I snorted while laughing and she had to get off the phone because she was laughing so loud it was interrupting my dad and brothers! Anyway...yesterday morning the kids woke up and the first thing out of their mouths was, "Where's the Elf? Where's the Elf? " Immediately I thought, "Oh no!! I forgot to move the elf! He's still in the freezer". So I distracted the children while I ran to the kitchen to retrieve the Elf (he was in the freezer from the day before - reminds him of the North Pole). But he wasn't there! I looked behind the frozen waffles, the ground beef, and even under the brown bananas that are waiting to be made into banana bread. He was gone! So I grilled the children, "Did anyone take him out of the freezer?!" They all say no and we all started searching frantically for him. I'm wondering,,"Did the elf really move himself? "The kids were running through the house yelling, "Mark?! Mark?!" Remember, they named the elf after their dad! Anyway, I finally spotted him sitting cross-legged on top of the pie safe. And I wondered, "How did he get there?" I even wondered if maybe I put him there after I took two Benadryl to help me fall asleep, and maybe I just don't remember. I finally decided that I must have done that. Now you all may be wondering, "Hello...your husband moved him." But...helloo,... Mark doesn't do elves. So I paged him later that morning and he told me that yes, in fact, he did take the elf out of the freezer and place him on the pie safe. He explained that when he opened the freezer earlier in the morning and saw the elf staring at him, he thought he shoudl take him out in case he would ruin from frostbite. But back to my story...so AAA says, "I wonder what mischief he did last night." "NO!!", I think to myself. I sent them to brush their teeth while I found a bag of marshmallows and dumped them all over the floor in the dining room. There! Mischief! The kids were so excited about this. I mean they were over-the-edge excited! Well around 6:00 that night, M was about to leave for his meeting, when I heard him say, "I want whoever did this to get in here right now and pick this up!" Oops - silly elf! M walked by me and I can just read his mind, " Elf? Marshmallows? On the floor? All day long?!?" I just flashed a smile. Not until he returned from the meeting and AAA asked him to unclog the vacuum cleaner because the hose was clogged from too many marshmallows. I heard her explain, "I asked Mommy and she said the vacuum cleaner would pick up marshmallows." Apparently I forgot to tell her to suck them up one at a time. I thought to myself, "If he says anything to me about this, I'm just going to tell him what a hard day I had and it all started with that darn Elf and the kids waking up wondering where he was and what kind of mischief he had been up to!" I know he had to put people to sleep and give epidurals all day, but he doesn't know stress of four little kids waking up and wondering about the Elf that mommy forgot about! So don't tell me about stress!