In Memory of...

What started out as a blog about Christmas traditions quickly turned into something much more. I hope you'll take the time to read this rather lenghty post. I didn't have a clue when I started writing this post an hour ago that I would end up writing about something that happened just about a year ago. You never know what God has in store. I'm so thankful that He reminded me of this story and that I can share it with you. I'll post about Christmas traditions tomorrow.


This time last year, a couple of the moms in my son's kindergarten class all met in my kitchen one morning to assemble "over -the-top, I'm scared to attempt this" gingerbread houses for our kids' class. Our teacher, Ms. Mitchell, was awesome. She was incredibly organized. At the beginning of the year, she sent around a list of "duties" for which we were to volunteer. By default, I was assigned "Gingerbread Houses". How hard could it be, really? I was about to find out! You see, another friend of mine, Melissa, had set the bar high many years before. Two of her children had also had Ms. Mitchell. And being the ultimate mom (of 6) that she is, she designed and assembled the Taj Mahal of gingerbread houses - 20 of them. Ms. Mitchell was so impressed by them that she copied the instructions, recipes, and directions and presented them to the "sucker of the year" who signed up for "Gingerbread Houses." Naturally, it was me. Around mid-October, she gave me a "head's up" that these weren't ordinary gingerbread houses. Fortunately, I was good friends with several of the other moms in the class and I was able to enlist some good help. But on the morning that we were supposed to meet, we all kind of panicked. We called our older and wiser friend Melissa to come over and show how to do this thing. She was on her cell phone when we called, but she promised to come over as soon as she finished exercising. About an hour later, she showed up in her sweats with a great big smile on her face. She set the tone for that morning. We had a ball. We didn't realize it at the time, but God had Melissa in our midst for a reason.

One of the other moms in our class, Jennifer, had been diagnosed with cancer 6 years earlier, when she was pregnant with her little girl. Jennifer had been advised to terminate her pregnancy and begin her treatment immediately. This brave, courageous, loving mom decided to keep her baby and begin treatment after delivery. Jennifer delivered a beautiful, healthy baby girl. As soon as she was able, she began treatment. Unfortunately, the cancer had spread like crazy by this point, so she had to undergo extensive surgery to remove and re-route some of her organs. She spent the next 5 years in and out of hospitals. Just before her little girl started kindergarten, Jennifer and her husband decided to move to Auburn because they thought it would not only be a great place to raise their daughter , but it would also bring them closer to family.

Jennifer was so open and honest about her disease, her treatment, and her future.
Within six weeks of visiting, laughing, and assembling these gingerbread houses in my kitchen, Jennifer died.

While we were in my kitchen that morning, Jennifer mentioned that she had a doctor's appointment that afternoon. My sweet friend, CS, offered to pick up Jennifer's little girl from school. At first Jennifer declined, but CS offered again and Jennifer graciously accepted. The relationship and friendship that developed from there was a beautiful thing. God's hand was in this.

Because Jennifer's health declined so quickly, she needed someone she could rely on to help with her little girl. CS often picked up Jennifer's little girl from school, took her to the hospital, and even had her spend the night when it was necessary. CS loved that little girl. CS became the reliable, loving, trustworthy friend that Jennifer and her family needed.

During this time, CS, Melissa, and I were all in a small bible study together. We had invited Jennifer to join, but her health prevented her from coming. Because Jennifer and her family had not been in Auburn long, they had not yet found a church home. But our bible study group prayed for her and for her family. The prayers were fervent and heartfelt. Even the ladies in our group who didn't know Jennifer were touched by her story and offered prayers and support.

As Jennifer became weaker, she was put on Hospice. Melissa, being the mentor that she doesn't even know she is, taught CS and I, by example, how to support a dying friend and her family. She encouraged CS to be bold in her faith. CS stepped out of her comfort zone and encouraged others to minister to this grieving family. Even the pastors from CS's church visited Jennifer and her family. The love and support that Jennifer's husband received from so many men, including the husbands in our bible study, as well as the pastors from the church, were an encouragement for Kevin, as he later shared with CS.

I visited Jennifer the day before she died. She was obviously in pain, but she was so gracious. She thanked me for visiting and she thanked me for my prayers. I told her that I was praying boldly for a miracle. Her mom stepped out of the room as I was leaving and said that it would truly take a miracle this time. She asked that we pray not only for a miracle, but also for Jennifer's little girl. She had been so used to being in and out of hospitals with her mom that she didn't know that this time was any different.

The next day, I was at my son's school and was told that Jennifer's husband had checked their little girl out of school. She was able to tell her mommy goodbye.

Why am I telling you all of this? Because several weeks later, in this same bible study group, I asked the question, "What do you do if you feel like God is placing something on your heart but you don't have the desire to do what it is he's asking you to do?" Specifically, I was referring to Virginia's (see earlier post) granddaughter whom I thought was an ungrateful, mean-spirited "lady". With tears in her eyes, CS explained that on the day that she offered to pick up Jennifer's little girl from school while Jennifer went to her doctor's appointment, she did not want to extend the offer to pick up Jennifer's little girl. She said that she was thinking,"I really don't want to do this. I've kept every body's kids the past few days. I really just want some peace and quiet. Etc." But she offered anyway. And look at the blessings that not only she received from Jennifer and her family, but look at how her relationship blessed Jennifer's family. CS offered not only her friendship and support, but she was able to offer support to Jennifer's husband, as well.

When I think back to that day in my kitchen, I am amazed at how God was at work before we even knew it. I failed to mention earlier that Jennifer's husband used to help coach the Auburn girl's gymnastics team. Guess who was also in my kitchen that day? One of his former gymnast,BT, who also happened to have a child in Ms. Micthell's room. We didn't realize the coincidence until that day. Through this connection, BT was able to contact several other former gymnast and coaches who became great support for Jennifer's husband during his time of need. We even saw some of them in Grove Hill, Alabama, several days later, at Jennifer's funeral.
As we drove to Grove Hill for Jennifer's funeral- the random ladies in that van who were all put there for a specific reason - we couldn't help but reflect on God's hand in all of this. Melissa was such a mentor to me during all of this. I know she was for CS, as well. She taught us about being a friend, a Christian, an appropriate support to a widowed man. I wonder, "Why did she drive across town that day to show 5 capable moms how to assemble gingerbread houses out of graham crakcers and white icing?" She has 6 kids of her own, it was the holidays, and I'm sure she had a lot of other things to do! I think she was being the kind of example that CS was telling me about. I doubt Melissa wanted to come over and show us how to do this. But she did it. And look at the rewards that followed.

CS encouraged me - and I am encouraging you - to be obedient to God's calling, even if you feel stubborn or resentful, as I did. Like I said in a post or two ago, you never know what He has up His sleeve.





Photobucket src="http://i293.photobucket.com/albums/mm54/amandaleaparker/tiffanyfinal.jpg" border=0>