Playing your "Mommy" card..

One of my very best friends (remember Ann?) was visiting a week or two ago. Somehow we started talking about tickets. She and M were listening to me tell my different stories about being pulled over at various times. I wasn't trying to be funny, but the more I talked, the more we laughed (I don't really think M was laughing.) Finally, M asks, "Well how many times have you been pulled over lately?" "Lately?", I ask. "I can think of three times in the past two years. He gets this look on his face and before he can say anything, I say, "Oh, but I never get a ticket." Ann bursts into laughter. "How do you not get a ticket?" she asked. "I don't really know. I'm never actually trying to not get a ticket. Maybe they feel sorry for me."

So here are the situations in order:

1. I was speeding/driving along on this beautiful day with my three youngest children in the very back of the van, looking particularly cute because they were all in a row. Next thing I know, I see lights right behind me. "Moi?" I think. So I pull over, and sure enough, the police officer (a female, yikes!) pulls behind me. I actually had no idea that I was speeding. The kids were terrified, especially my Lil Man. So when the police officer approached the car, I said, "Hi. How are you today? Before we get going , could you pleas say "Hi" to my kids? They are scared of police officers and I'm trying to teach them that police are our friends. " I turn to the kids and say, "Can y'all say "Hi" to this nice police officer. She's our friend." The kids wave in unison.( I couldn't have taught them any better!) The police lady, my new best friend, informs me (ever so politely) that I was going 62 in a 45. She takes my license and returns with ...NOT a ticket, but three "D.A.R.E" stickers and three plastic police badges! Awesome! We thank her kindly and wish her well.

2. Same road, different day. I was returning from Lowe's in my mini-van. I was by myself and all of the seats were out of the van so that I could fit my "load" of plywood and 2 x 4's into the van. An officer driving towards me signals me and points to me to pull over. "Great. Just what I need", I think. I pullover, apologize to him for speeding. He asks for my driver's licence, proof of insurance, and registration. I hand him my license, then I stare blankly at my glove compartment with the plywood and 2 x 4's shoved against it. I say, "Officer, if you will help me move this lumber, I can get you my registration and insurance. But I promise I have insurance and I promise the car is registered in my name. Cross my heart." (At least I didn't say "pinky promise" and hold out my little finger!). He smiles and ask, "What are you making?" "Well," I say, "I'm about to make two full-size headboards for my little girls' room. They share a pink room. The plywood will be the back of the headboard, the 2 x 4's will be the support, and the molding will frame the plywood. I'm going to put a sheet of foam over the plywood and wrap it in the cutest fabric I've ever seen. I'm so excited about it - I think that's why I was speeding." He hands me my license back and wishes me well. I tell him I'll let him know how the finished product turns out the next time he pulls me over (kidding! I did not say that!)

3. This was just a couple of months ago. Dear Officer Kenny pulled me over about a half of a mile from my house. It was the last day of school before Christmas break began and I was taking full advantage of every minute of kid-free Christmas shopping. Which, of course, means that I was running late. So late, in fact, that I ran the stop sign around the corner from my house. Well I didn't actually run it, I just didn't exactly stop either (as I explained it the Officer Kenny). He was very friendly and I apologize and explain what a hurry I'm in. Then I glanced at the clock on my dash and nearly had a stroke. Before I knew it, I heard myself say, "Is there any way we could do this just a little closer to my house.? My kids walk home from school and I usually meet them at the stop sign so they won't have to cross by themselves. I'm so nervous." He smiles, wishes me a Merry Christmas, and says, "Next time you're at a stop sign, stop, say your ABC's, then go." My "ABC's" ? Jeez. I must have "Mommy" written all over my face.

So what is the moral of this story? I have no idea. I laugh when I look back at these three separate incidents because I was fully prepared to take my punishment. In fact, perhaps I would learn my lesson and slow down if someone would actually give me a ticket. But, without even knowing it, I have played my "mommy" card each time and it has worked.

Good luck to you!

Have a great day!