Can I just put a book on his head to keep him from growing?

My just-turned-seven year old Li'l Man spent the last four days st the beach with his all-time favorite cousin. I met my sister at the Burger King In Greenville yesterday to exchange kids (I had her four year old princess). I turned my airbag off and let my son sit in the front seat beside me so that we could talk about his trip. He had a blast!! He took his shoes off, then his socks. I immediately regretted my decision to allow him to sit in the front seat. I had been excited about going through Montgomery and stopping AT Krispy Kreme, and suddenly I was thinking, "I won't be able to enjoy my Hot Now with that smell!" So I said, "Your feet REEK!" He grinned and said, "Thanks!! I've been wearing the same socks all four days." "Why?!?" I asked (I knew that I had packed extra socks). He said, "I just balled them up and stuck them in my shoes at night, and in the mornings I put them back on." Then he stuck the sock up to his nose and inhaled. He then commented, "This would make a good air freshener. You should try it!" I reached over to pat the top of his head. He gently grabbed my hand, kissed it, rubbed it on the side of his face, then placed it on the arm rest and leaned against it. I knew his hands were sweaty and smelled like feet, but I was good with it! I love that little rascal!

I used to worry about this little fella being surrounded by a house full of girls. No worries. He's all boy!

Thanking God for this little man in my life!

Happy New Year!

I wish I had something deep and profound to share with you on this first day of the new year. But, alas, I am dry! So...I'll tell you this funny story. When I was in college, I sold New Year's Eve baskest door-to-door. I made up this cute poem that I'll share with you:

In the South,
It is tradition
To get your Black-eyed-pea nutrition.

So bake the cornbread,
Boil the rice
Simmer the peas
And add some spice.

(I can't remember the sentence that would go here>>>)
May your New Year be extra nice!

So I put a bag of black-eyed peas in a cellophane bag tied with purple and gold shiny curly ribbon, a bag of rice, a tiny jar of Tabasco, and a box of Jiffy cornbread mix in a gold spray-painted basket. I sold enough baskets to pay for one more semester of school! I attached the poem to the top of the basket.

I think M would die if he knew I shared this with you!

(With this economy, don't be surprised if I show up at your door!)

Happy New Year!

Thanking God for another happy, healthy year!

New Year's Eve

She Isn't Even Blonde, Part II

Same girl, different day. True story.

This same friend (the "salt to taste" girl) decided that she wanted to make some sweet tea. So she called her mom and asked her how to make tea. Her mom told her to place two tea bags in some boiling water. So my friend cuts open two tea bags and pours them in the boiling water. She notices that the bits of brown don't dissolve, so she wonders, "Do they dissolve when they are cold?" So she pours the ho tea into a Tupperware pitcher and puts the pitcher in the refrigerator. Her husband comes home from work that day and she pours him a cup of tea. He drinks a sip and looks at her and smiles (with brown specs all in his teeth!), and says, "What is this?!" And this girl is from Alabama! Shameful!

Sunset

Did anybody see the sunset in Auburn today? It may have been my all-time favorite sunset ever - anywhere. I chased it! I had my camera but I couldn't stop the car long enough to take a stationery picture, so they are all blurry. When I saw the sunset, I knew I wanted to put it on my blog. So I had already decided that it would be a peaceful post with a beautiful picture and one or two sentences. That's it. But as I headed from Moore's Mill to Cary Woods, I followed the sunset. I ended up on campus and thus began my Road Rage, which not only destroyed my mood but also this post! I sat at a red light for FOUR minutes with no one else around me. I f you live in a college town, there should be a rule that the traffic lights need to be re-synchronized when the students are gone! When the students are here, it's not any better, but at least there are other cars around you so you feel a little better. There are days that it takes me TWENTY minutes to get from Parkway to Cary Woods. And if there's a train...don't get me started! The last day of school before we were out for Christmas, I was REALLY running late. I forgot to allow twenty extra minutes for the red lights downtown. So, I ran a stop sign on my way home. And guess what...I was pulled over. Then he asked for my insurance. Man - M had just given me our current insurance info and said, "Put this in your car." Two days later, it was on the kitchen counter. He handed it to me again and said, "Put this in your car." I stuck it somewhere (not in my car). So I explained to the nice officer that I only had my expired insurance information and that everything was the same except for the date. He took my license and called it in. I held my breath because I knew that I had a $5 parking ticket that I had received while drinking coffee at Bazilia's. And because I didn't have $5 cash on me at the time, I didn't pay it. I think it's sitting with the insurance stuff. Anyway - the good news for me is that the parking ticket is in M's name. Thank goodness he doesn't read this blog! The other good news...Office A. Harris told me Merry Christmas and let me go with a verbal warning! (Did you really want to know all of this). Point of my story - the sunset tonight was phenomenal!
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And she isn't even blonde!

M and I have a friend who NEVER cooks! But lo and behold, one night she decided to step out of her comfort zone and actually cook dinner. I can't remember what she wanted to cook, but she copied the recipe down and took the list of ingredients with her to the grocery store. She stayed on the spice aisle for about 1o minutes searching for one of the ingredients on her list. Finally, a lady walked by and quickly grabbed several spices. Our friend approached the lady, "Pardon me. You look like you know what you are doing. Could you please help me find the "salt to taste?" True story!

Don't Shoot! It's Santa!

A couple of days before Christmas, the two youngest girls and I were in the van headed for home after having left Target. The girls had picked out some toys that they wanted Santa to bring them for Christmas. Sunshine said to KitKat, "If we aren't good, Santa will give our toys to the poor kids." Kit Kat said, "Mimi said the poor kids will shoot Santa." I immediately called Mimi and asked her why in the world she told the girls that the poor kids would shoot Santa (you can imagine what I was thinking...I won't put it in writing). Mimi denied it, but I could tell that KitKat was serious about having heard Mimi say that. Well about 4 hours later, Mimi called and said, "I remember. The girls and I were putting together gift boxes for Operation Christmas Child. I told them that they were for the poor kids. Sunshine asked why Santa just didn't go to the poor kid's houses and give them toys (good question, four year old!). I told them that there were wars going on in some countries where the poor kids lived and Santa might get shot." Ha! So now you can see how the children thought that the poor kids might shoot Santa!

"We are Fam-i-ly!"

These are my two younger sisters dying laughing and making fun of the gifts that I gave my mom!! I'm serious... that is what they are laughing about! They were having such a good time over there that I had to take their picture!
If you are wondering what I gave her that was so funny, I have to tell you that, first of all, I had no idea that the gifts were funny. MM said that they only reason she was laughing was because of the look on Holley's face when she saw the first gift. Otherwise, she says, she wouldn't have laughed. Right. And by the way, MM called first thing yesterday morning because her sweet husband said that I probably had my feelings hurt by the way they were laughing at my gifts. I assured her that I didn't. And I really didn't. I joined in the laughter. In fact, it became the highlight of my night.
Back in late September, Belk's was having a really big shoe sale. Their summer shoes were 75% off, then an additional 33% off the clearance price for that particular day. So... I bought my mom 5 pairs of shoes and stuck them in the attic until Christmas. I think it was my dad who said, "The 75% off, plus the additional 33% off should have been your first clue." (first clue that these shoes are ugly). ha! That really got the girls going! The first pair of shoes was a pair of canvas Keds sandals. I wouldn't wear them, but they looked comfortable, and my mom is almost 60, so I thought she'd like them (and she did, btw). Holley and MM immediately started laughing about the old lady sandals. I heard some laughing and mention of bunions. It just went down hill from there!
The funny thing is that earlier in the evening, Holley said that if she wanted the truth about something, she'd have to ask MM, NOT me. I was shocked, because I'm pretty honest when it comes to telling people - especially my 3 sisters - the truth about how this looks or that looks. So I said, "You're kidding? She said, "You'd tell mom. Then mom would tell me." Oh the dynamics of our family!! We sure have a good time, though!!

Thanking God for my fun family!!

Merry Christmas!

We Wish You a Merry Christmas!
We Wish You a Merry Christmas!
We Wish You a Merry Christmas,
and a Happy New Year!

Santa's Little Helpers

The Second Best Thing I've Ever Done

I've mentioned a couple of times before that there are two things that I've done lately that I highly recommend. The first was letting the cleaning lady go ("Just Do It!") and the second...not sending my kids to pre-school! I thought the holidays would be a great time to post this because I'm still suffering from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder from last year's holiday duties at preschool. So while the rest of y'all are running around buying and wrapping teacher's gifts, making snacks for your preschoolers parties, and swinging by Chick-Fil-A to grab a nugget platter at 9:30 a.m., I'm sitting on my sofa reading a good book to the kids. (Or maybe I'm reading a good book to myself and they are watching PBS).

So what led to this drastic decision, you ask? (or maybe you don't even care because there's no way on h- e- double hockey sticks that you're not going to send them to pre-school!) After 5 years of waking up stressed and trying to get everyone out the door looking cute in their smocked outfits with matching hair bows, velcro Keds, and eyelet socks...I saw the light! This past summer, I worked hard at not having ANYTHING on our schedules. We didn't even participate in VBS. We simply enjoying "doing nothing" and having no schedule. It was the best summer of my entire life!!! We slept late. We stayed in our pajamas if we felt like it. Or we went to the pool if we felt like it. Or we played in Burger King if we felt like it. Or we drove to Birmingham to see Mimi and Papa. Or we played dress-up. I even put my wedding gown on and married my four year old daughter! The kids played "Fear Factor" in the kitchen. You get the idea. We did whatever we wanted whenever we wanted. As the summer was winding down and the school year was fast-approaching, I woke up one morning and decided that I was going to continue this ALL YEAR LONG! It has been incredible and I can't emphasize it enough. Granted, I have two children, same sex, who are only 15 months apart. So they have each other to play with all day long. Next year, Kit Kat will go to kindergarten and Sunshine will return to pre-school. So I guess I'm only recommending it to those who have two same-sexed children who are very close in age.

The money I have saved....not just in tuition, but also in clothes. My entire attitude has changed. It has been LIBERATING!! The girls dress themselves and they MIGHT brush their hair. I take them with me to the gym (childcare provided) and everywhere else I go. The ladies at the Loft know them by name. My girls know how to order my coffee from Starbucks. They know where I like to park when I go to Wal-Mart and Target. They know all of AAA's and Li'l Man's friends in their classes because we visit their classes at least once a week. The principal, secretaries, custodians all know their names. But back to the money I'm saving - I quit doing clothes shows because, where are they going to wear these over-priced outfits? to the gym? To Target? Around the house? No way! I had a hard enough time getting them to wear these clothes when they were in pre-school, but now...no worries. They dress themselves comfortably (and they think they look soooo good!) and I just go with the flow. I never thought I would, but I did, and I do. Next thing you know, I'll be making my own granola, nursing my four year old, and growing all of my own vegetables in the back yard while I'm homeschooling all of the kids in the family school room. (Kidding ...just making sure you know).

And since I don't have a cleaning lady anymore, either...Kit Kat and Sunshine have learned to clean!! They can make their own beds BETTER than my 6 year old and 8 year old. They know how to use a coat hanger (I'm still trying to teach this foreign concept to my 8 year old!). They can load a dishwasher like nobody's business!

Last thing, I promise, then I'll get off my soap box. Two years ago, I had three (3) kids in pre-school and one at the Early Ed. I had a complete meltdown/breakdown - whatever you want to call it, I don't care! I was the room mom at the Early Ed (should have been a paid position - heed warning now if your kids are young - I know you've waited your whole life to be a room mom - trust me, I've been there - but RUN the other way!) and had three kids at Pre-school. During Thanksgiving, I realized that I was cooking more for my own kids classes than I was at home. In fact, I just wanted to go to Picadilly for Thanksgiving. I was so tired of cooking for the Thanksgiving Feast, standing in line with 300 other pre-school parents and grandparents, and sitting on the gym floor pretending to enjoy my lunch while kids raced around me hyped up on brownies and juice! I lost it! Enough!! Why am I waking up so early, driving to AEEC to drop- off my kindergartner, running back home, shoving food down the other three, dressing them cutely as fast as possible ( no wonder I forgot the panties! - see earlier post!), jumping right back in the car, dropping them off at pre-school, running to Winn-Dixie to grab snacks because it was my turn for Snack Basket (with three, it was always somebody's turn) , running back to the pre-school with the goods, coming back home to take a shower ('cause Lord knows I wasn't able to squeeze one in before school unless I wanted to wake up at 4:30) , running by REX to see if there were any refrigerator boxes for AAA's class, then back to pre-school. And that was a good day. There were many days that I went to Out in the Garden with my kid's preschool class, so I didn't get a break at all. But the real kicker was the Thanksgiving that the one year old class had to cook a casserole, the two year old class had to bake a dessert, and the three year old class had to bring a fruit platter. I'm breaking into a sweat over here just thinking about it. Can't I just send them to pre-school then run to the gym and Wal-Mart? NO! Pre-school was too time-consuming. I was paying them to drive me insane!

I'm O.kay. Really, I'll be fine.

Let me just get the kids to clean the house,run the vacuum, and bring me breakfast in bed, and I'll be fine. I'm telling y'all, this is the life!

Have a GREAT day!! Good luck this next week. Enjoy your time away from pre-school! Tell everyone I said "Hello!"

(Emmy, I love you!! You're an awesome pre-school director!!)

That Darn Elf!

So the "Elf on the Shelf" is bad for my marriage. I didn't realize I was going to blog about this until I was telling my mom about this and we both were so tickled that I snorted while laughing and she had to get off the phone because she was laughing so loud it was interrupting my dad and brothers! Anyway...yesterday morning the kids woke up and the first thing out of their mouths was, "Where's the Elf? Where's the Elf? " Immediately I thought, "Oh no!! I forgot to move the elf! He's still in the freezer". So I distracted the children while I ran to the kitchen to retrieve the Elf (he was in the freezer from the day before - reminds him of the North Pole). But he wasn't there! I looked behind the frozen waffles, the ground beef, and even under the brown bananas that are waiting to be made into banana bread. He was gone! So I grilled the children, "Did anyone take him out of the freezer?!" They all say no and we all started searching frantically for him. I'm wondering,,"Did the elf really move himself? "The kids were running through the house yelling, "Mark?! Mark?!" Remember, they named the elf after their dad! Anyway, I finally spotted him sitting cross-legged on top of the pie safe. And I wondered, "How did he get there?" I even wondered if maybe I put him there after I took two Benadryl to help me fall asleep, and maybe I just don't remember. I finally decided that I must have done that. Now you all may be wondering, "Hello...your husband moved him." But...helloo,... Mark doesn't do elves. So I paged him later that morning and he told me that yes, in fact, he did take the elf out of the freezer and place him on the pie safe. He explained that when he opened the freezer earlier in the morning and saw the elf staring at him, he thought he shoudl take him out in case he would ruin from frostbite. But back to my story...so AAA says, "I wonder what mischief he did last night." "NO!!", I think to myself. I sent them to brush their teeth while I found a bag of marshmallows and dumped them all over the floor in the dining room. There! Mischief! The kids were so excited about this. I mean they were over-the-edge excited! Well around 6:00 that night, M was about to leave for his meeting, when I heard him say, "I want whoever did this to get in here right now and pick this up!" Oops - silly elf! M walked by me and I can just read his mind, " Elf? Marshmallows? On the floor? All day long?!?" I just flashed a smile. Not until he returned from the meeting and AAA asked him to unclog the vacuum cleaner because the hose was clogged from too many marshmallows. I heard her explain, "I asked Mommy and she said the vacuum cleaner would pick up marshmallows." Apparently I forgot to tell her to suck them up one at a time. I thought to myself, "If he says anything to me about this, I'm just going to tell him what a hard day I had and it all started with that darn Elf and the kids waking up wondering where he was and what kind of mischief he had been up to!" I know he had to put people to sleep and give epidurals all day, but he doesn't know stress of four little kids waking up and wondering about the Elf that mommy forgot about! So don't tell me about stress!

Whatever!

In order to understand today's post, you must read yesterdays. So not only did I buy into the whole "Elf on the Shelf" magic, I am completely abusing it. Usually when I drop AA and Li'l Man off at school, I drive all the way across town to Starbuck's to grab a cup of coffee. Nine times out of ten, I get half way there, and KK says she has to go "T-T" right then and she can't hold it. So this morning, I say, "Kit Kat, you need to go TT right now because we are going to get coffee this morning." She says, "I already did." I reply, "Did you really?" She nods her head "yes." I say, "If you're lying, the elf will know." She says, "Yes ma'aaaaaam", and heads off to the potty! It totally worked. I was thrilled. I don't know what I did before the elf, and I don't know what I'll do after the elf, but I am going to enjoy the next 2 and a half weeks. Like I said in yeesterday's post, I want my children to behave and be good for the simple sake of being good. But, I mean, whatever it takes.

Whoa now!

I told y'all I'm not an English major and have no qualifications that allow me to suggest a book to you. I just want to share this book with you because it's my very favorite Christmas book for 4 year olds and under. The Story of Christmas (finally figured out how to underline!) by Patricia A. Pingry. It's a board book perfect for the toddler ages. I love it because the pictures are detailed and colorful, it explains in very simple terms why we give presents at Christmas, and it tells the story of Mary and Joseph's journey to Bethlehem, the birth of Jesus, and the visit from the wise men. The language is perfect for little kids. And it's also perfect for my 8 and 6 year old to read to their younger sisters. It is great for your own children or even better as a gift to someone you know with young children.
Just wanted to share. ( They also have one for Valentine's Day and Easter).

My Sunday School class was very interesting today, although at times maybe a little heated. But mainly funny. Last week we started a series titled,Christmas from the Backside . The author's creative approach clarifies basic teachings and introduces new possibilities of meaning to the Christmas story by entering the Gospel scriptures through the "back side" - through a unique starting point, a creative retelling, a new "lens", or the eyes of a minor unsympathetic character. Last week's lesson was from Chapter One, "The Scandal of Christmas." Today, my adorable, precious, wise, (otherwise) wonderful Sunday School teachers (married couple) announced that on the way home from Sunday School last week, they told their 5 year old that Santa wasn't real!! They had been convicted during our SS class that they, too, had fallen into the "trap" of saying one thing at Christmas and yet "doing" another. I get that part - really, I do. I'm constantly telling the kids about the real meaning of Christmas. And they only get three gifts from Santa because "Jesus received three gifts from the wise men." And then I turn around and attend Christmas party after Christmas party (alcohol involved, of course!) and spend way too much money on gifts for people near and far. And I stress out over the perfect Christmas card and Christmas tree. And I've already admitted my need for the wrapping paper to match my living room. So - are the children really buying it when I tell them the real meaning of Christmas? Or are they thinking, "Whatever, mommy." To make matters worse, I bought into the whole "Elf on the Shelf" magic. The problem with the Elf is that I really want my children to be good and behave for the sake of being good. Because it's the right thing to do. Not because some Elf on a Shelf is going to tell Santa if they misbehave and then they might not get any toys. (Don't worry, Mimi, I'm not getting rid of the Elf. It' is the only thing that is keeping KK in line!). I keep telling myself, "What's the big deal? My parents always pretended their were elves watching. And I turned out O.Kay." (At least I though I had - until I heard that my parents, brothers, and sisters sat around the table at Thanksgiving and, in my absence, dissected and analyzed me and my childhood at length. I heard it was really fun. Sorry I missed it!) Anyway... so my SS teachers announce that they told their 5 year old the truth about Santa! Whoa now...I'm not THAT serious about all of this. To say it is one thing, but to put it into practice is another thing! Their little girl's reaction, " I know he's real because he ate those cookies we left for him last year!" Good point! Later they heard her singing, "Santa Clause is not coming to town." Hehe. Anyway - this is all just food for thought. I'm not convicted one way or another, but it does make me think about the emphasis that I put on the unimportant during the Christmas season.

By the way, the name of my Sunday School class is "Family Essentials." We are all married couples with young children. You can imagine the opinions of the couples in the class when the SS teachers shared their news. One or two people agreed (their spouses disagreed, I think), but for the most part, we all threw our bagels at our teachers and put them (and their little girl) on the prayer list!

Christmas Traditions???

I've hit another blog-wall. I've had a hard time coming up with something interesting to blog about, which has really taken me by surprise since it is the holidays and there should be plenty to blog about. AAA suggested that I share pictures from Thanksgiving and blog about what a great day we had. The only problem with that idea is that I only have two pictures from Thanksgiving Day, and they are of Sunshine playing the drums. Not very Thanksgiving-ish.

Another friend suggested I blog about Christmas traditions, which sounded like a great idea at the time. But...I don't have any. Not any that are unique. I mean, um, we put up a Christmas tree. We hang wreathes on the windows. We hang the stockings on the mantel. We send out Christmas cards. I already told you about the Elf on the Shelf. What else is there? I do have a cute idea that I can share, but it's not really a "tradition." Each year, I buy the children a glass-blown ornament (not Christopher Raddko, but the Hobby Lobby version!) that represents whatever kind of Birthday party they had that year. So at Christmas, when we hang the ornaments, it's a ton of fun to hand AAA a glass-blown rubber duck and say, "This was your ornament from your first birthday party. We had a rubber ducky party. Mommy overdid it and was totally stressed. That's why you haven't had another birthday party since then!" Kidding. Kidding about more birthday parties but NOT kidding (wish I was) about completely overdoing it with the "Pin the Beak on the Duck" and the "Duck in the Pond" beanbag toss for my one year old. Or the white baseball caps with the orange bills that I attached googly eyes to and made the adults wear! How embarrassing!! Mimi, why didn't you say something?!? Y'all, I even scooped vanilla ice cream onto small individual plates and made them look like rubber ducks somehow. I think I used chocolate chips as eyes and dried apricots (really yummy - ha!)for the beaks. It was hilarious!! My sundress matched the decor. It's so sad. I'm so glad I had three more kids and am now too distracted and busy to plan my children's parties effectively. When I had Sunshine's party recently, a good friend commented that she was so impressed because I always make my children's invitations. I thought she knew me better - I only make them because I don't realize until it's too late to have invitations printed that my kid's birthday is next week. Which is exactly why I have to get off this blog right now. Little Man has a birthday coming up and I've GOT to get the invitations in the mail YESTERDAY! Wish me luck!